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Jesus Drove a Holden

Now this song seems to have caused a bit of a stir and gotten me into a bit of unexpected trouble. 

It seems that many people lose their sense of humour completely, the moment the word Jesus is mentioned.

I guess, all I can suggest is to try and let go of your judgements for the next couple of minutes, listen to the lyrics and enjoy my Jesus Holden fantasy!

This story is simply a bent Aussie interpretation of what could have happened to his life and message if perhaps, Jesus did return 2000 years later.

It's doesn't have to be that complicated at all.  This song is about feeling warm and fuzzy – something we all want no matter how culturally different we are. I've just gotta ask...  why do so many people resist our enlightened teachers and make life so complex?  Lets just get on with it... live and let live... in peace... for fucks sake!!

Jesus Drove a Holden :: Lyrics

Words and Music by Johnnie McCarthy (2002) Copyright

Jesus drove a Holden
And he drove it way outback
It came as some surprise
That he'd bothered to come back
A silver station wagon
I think a HR 67
He put his foot flat to the floor and he screamed
Well this.......... sure beats heaven!

Well I know you know that Jesus had an enviable existence
He never used a drop of fuel or called roadside assistance
His Holden ran on faith, but tell me how do you explain that
To petroleum multinationals who just wanted him
They wanted him to keep quiet


Soon you could see every lost soul in silver station wagons
Headin' out to find their guru west of ol' Wilcannia
It had to be a Holden circa HR 67
They put their feet flat to the floor and screamed
Jesus take me to heaven

But one thing we didn't understand was Jesus, he had faith
Not a catholic converter or some other ancient vice
He believed in love and hey that's' all he fuckin said
But through the dirty windscreens somehow
That message was misread

[CHORUS]   
    So what was he doin' out there
    In that big brown land
    In that smooth white car
    Traveling oh so fast
    Hell you just might ask
   
Well he was drifting oh so silently like moon through starry skies
Floating like some jelly fish above tar and white lines
Ahh Jesus never needed no joint to get his highs
He just passed on his message of love
And drove away... with a big, warm, fuzzy.... smile

But meanwhile out on the highway
It seems that even Jesus had underestimated the ability of modern technology to disseminate his message so rapidly!
Which raised an impending dilemma!
What would happen if say something on the internet just happened to be wrong
Even just a little bit?
What if, what if, somewhere, somehow, sometime, someone
Happened to get his message slightly wrong ,
Well that would mean that a lot of people would get the wrong message all at the one time

Pretty soon now Jesus had to save so many lives
A hundred thousand Holdens crashed along our country roads
They'd put their feet flat to the floor and screamed take me to heaven
But overtook on every curve with heads held aloft to heaven

We all failed to see that Jesus had belief in love and faith
There were no exceptions man he took it every place
It was his greatest statement that somehow we all ignore
But it's why his holden's perfect
And everyone else???
Hey we've fucked up along the road

CHORUS

Johnnie Mac Songs

• Nicotine Dream
• One Farewell
• Insecure
• Jesus Drove a Holden
• The World Seems Happy
• The Chant of Namitjira
• Colours of Her Mind
• One More Candle
• Can You Imagine