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Insecure
Album: The World Seems Happy...
My hidden past exposed!
Ok... so I've come out of the closet. I'm insecure! Well... I was when I wrote this song, but thankfully a few challenging life experiences over time has made me stronger and given me the opportunity to feel comfortable being who I really am instead of simply faking my individuality to blend in with the crowd.
But yes, I admit it... this song could easily have been a repetitive soundtrack in the back of my mind for a big chunk of my life and it now becomes even more meaningful as I cant help but notice, feeling ‘uncool' is undeniably what holds way too many people back in life.
I thought it was just my teenage angst... comparing myself to others, watching TV and feeling inadequate because I didn't have the perfect body, face, car or lifestyle. But guess what? I soon discovered this character destroying existence is a common burden - not just my own! It started to become painfully obvious when a close friend of mine expressed similar dissatisfaction about her life – feeling unattractive, not good enough, etc, etc... but she chose to hide her insecurity behind the curtain of drugs. I sat on the sidelines unable to convince her otherwise and watched her go through a confusing, chaotic stage in her life, battling drug abuse, which she eventually came through. I soon recognised that many of my close friends were going or had gone through the same stuff... sadly some of them didn't make it this far. All of them at one time or another expressed the sentiments in the rap part of this song.
Growing up in Sydney and busking my way around the world, I've seen many people caught up in drug abuse... feeling that they have an illness, a disease, some end up suffering mental illness, others are just plain paranoid. But hey it seems we all have a common thread - apart from addiction or the feeling of not being cool enough....
I guess we're just... INSECURE (an sic u r)
I wrote this song thinking about why we become so full of self doubt, and if you relate to what I'm saying then just sing along with gusto and maybe you'll soon laugh about it... who knows you may laugh enough to realise there's no point comparing... just fill up on confidence (rather than uppers) and get on with life no matter what!
Insecure :: Lyrics
Words and Music by Johnnie McCarthy (1997) Copyright
CHORUS
Hey I'm so insecure, it's my insignificance
I'm unsure, of this insignificance
I want more, than this insignificance
I'm so insecure, it's my insignificance
I felt all my life that there should be more
My life's not a coke ad
Ahh so I feel so so so so
Oh O oh no I'm insecure
Well all my life TV showed me the best
The tropical girl swarms with their sun tanned chests
This beauty, its you
Reality, it went that way
You'll never want more or feel out of place
Because you'll be secure, secure in your
In your significunts
Fooled all my life by the glamour of TV
You gotta be someone like this
It'll make you so happ...happ....y
Uh Ah Oh no I'm insecure
You know I had a friend, I had a friend, I had a friend
And she she she had a habit
And this is the story that she told to me
In complete confidentiality
She said
I ain't a user, I'm an abuser
I'm on it, I'm into it, I'm out of it
With out it I'm psychotic, I'm schizophrenic
I'm crazy, I'm lazy, fuck everythings hazy
Life's out on a dead limb with termites so insane
Its all, comin dowwwwnnnn
So I fill up on uppers
My words are all st..st..stutters
Connecting in bits and sighs and aggression
My esteem is a curse
I hate with a passion
I wander in limbo from mindset to culture
Prey on every scene a bohemian vulture
My life is a fuck, I live for desire
I don't play with it, I bathe in fire
I wanna hurt others, I wanna get hurt
Drag you all through my filth, my shit and my dirt
I'm so down on living
Hells light years above me
Your narcisstic dreams I embrace in reality, yeah yeah
I'm pathetic, apathetic, a confused nun on acid
A pedophilic priest, a disaster so tragic
A whore to self pity aloof on my throne
My only exercise is to lift the next cone
I'll mumble and grumble and fill you with my hype
And blame everyone else for my shit lot in life
I've lost any hope, any dream or connection
With my positive spirit and natures dimension
I take in what's around me, that's all I can give
A product of this city on the streets
Where you live
She felt all her life that there should be more
Her life's not a coke ad
Ahh so she feels so so so so
Oh O oh no she's insecure
Insecure, insecure
And sick-u-r, And sick-u-r, And sick-u-r
CHORUS
But I'm quite content to be me
Ain't that significant
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